I think your count / swinging would largely scare the bulk of local females, no offence as its quite a huge jump even from someone experienced (always chiong/fwbs and the likes).
Interesting to know that you could walk away and retire from that lifestyle though, i guess never say never
Treating them as equals is good, though most woman still want to be pampered and treated like a queen from time to time! Pro dating tip right there hahah.
I've always felt that a relationship pretty much to what you want to get out of a career, and frame my situations as to what i'd do if this situation was my work situation.
For example.. referring to "I would lightly debate you on saying that it's a red flag for a girl when she thinks a guy can't settle down. Is that necessarily worse than a guy who would just settle down for anything and anyone?"
1) Would you settle for a job if you reckon there is no job progress and there are also other offers?
2) Would you settle for a job if you are not happy with the offer?
I feel like settling for someone (no matter the timeline) means you're ready to accept him for what he is and hopefully he for what i would be.
Don't think i'm of much help but i hope you'll find someone that you connect well with and accept you for who you are
Hard in singapore, but never say never i guess
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdesOfMarch
Hey, thanks for your well thought out reply.
Think you misunderstood me. I wasn't referring to guys who cheated before in the past. I was referring simply to local guys who might not conform to the usual stereotype of "guai guai guy next door and sexually inexperienced". Are such guys a turn-off or scare-off for your typical local girls who might not be similar open or experienced in bed? Like, I'm a largely-retired swinger. I've way too many sexual experiences to even be keeping count of notches on the bedpost. Is that a negative point counting against me when I want to settle down with someone? I've always only played in the past when I was fully single. And I've settled down twice and retired from the lifestyle, so I know I can leave it behind.
I would lightly debate you on saying that it's a red flag for a girl when she thinks a guy can't settle down. Is that necessarily worse than a guy who would just settle down for anything and anyone? Because I find in my experience most SG guys would simply go for the first girl to give them attention, "love" (real or otherwise), and sex. There's this lack of distinction and ability to walk away when they know that a girl isn't seeing their relationship dynamic as equal. But when I myself show abundantly in my interactions with local SG girls that I'm not going to be easily won over or hooked in love with them, nor am I easily aroused to lust for them, that I treat them as equals to myself and not play the dating wooing game that most SG girls are used to, I get dropped faster than a sack of hot potatoes.
What are your thoughts on a guy like myself as I described?
Finally, I'm asking you such questions precisely because you're not naive. You've your fair share of skeletons and experiences in your closet and you've seen the best and worst of guys here in your previous SB/FL life. So naturally the answers you give would be a lot more realistic and less naive than if I were to ask the same questions of a GND kind.
I like a girl who can think!
|