[bakylotus]

SEX TYPES


Retirement Sex
Two senior citizens were talking, 'So, how's your sex life?'
The other answered, 'Oh, nothing, I'm having pension sex.
'Pension sex?'
'Yeah, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on'.


Loud Sex
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
'I've got a big problem, Doctor, everytime we're in bed and
my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell'.
'My dear, thats completely natural, I don't see what the
problem is'.
'The problem is', she complained, 'it wakes me up'.


Quiet Sex
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and
asked his wife during a lovemaking session, 'How come you
never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home'.


Confounded Sex
A man was in a terrible accident, and his manhood was mangled
and torn from his body. His doctor assured him modern medicine
would give him back his manhood, but that his insurance
wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small', $6,500
for 'medium' and $14,000 for 'large'.
The man was sure he would want a 'medium' or 'large', but the
doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he
made any decisions. The man called his wife on the phone and
explained their options. The doctor came back into the room
and found the man dejected.
'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.
'She would rather remodel the kitchen'.


Wedding Anniversary Sex
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
40th wedding anniversary and the husband yelled, 'When you die,
I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'HERE LIES MY WIFE,
COLD AS EVER'.
'Yeah', she replied, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads: HERE LIES MY HUSBAND, STIFF AT LAST'.


Elderly Sex
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo and found
her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. She became
violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of the 20th
floor assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on a charge of murder, the judge asked
her if she had anything to say in her defence.
She began coolly, 'Yes, Your Honour, I figured that at 92 if
he could have sex, he could also fly'.