Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe":
- Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.
- Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.
- Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
- Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
- Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
- When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
- Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
- Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
- You CAN get it from kissing -- tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
- To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
- If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out beforehand to hope for the best.
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