Re: Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish................................49
Adventurous......................Slept with everyone
Athletic..............................No tits
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.............On medication
Feminist.............................Fat
Free spirit..........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun...................................Annoying
New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.........................Sloppy drunk
Professional.......................Bitch
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No.
2. No = Yes.
3. Maybe = No.
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry.
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not.
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?
MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you!
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.
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Laughter is the best medicine !
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