personal advice based on true story: choose your life partner carefully

[xeann]

don't start a relationship with someone you think wont work out and get yourself hurt in the end.

I met this PRC girl from work 2yr plus back, shes a pretty and chatty girl, the type of girl with a lot of male friends, she came to singapore to study since primary school and decided to stay in singapore to work while her siblings is still studying here.

As she is very chatty i talk to her alot during working hours, to know that she came from quite a rich family, her family can afford to send 4 children to study in singapore, which is not very easily for majority of the china Chinese family.

I went out with her alot of times for meals for entertainment and fall for her eventually, i even broke off with my sg gf to be together to her, even i knew that my parents will object eventually, as my family is reputable they felt that its quite tiu nian to get married to a PRC girl.

we had been together for about 2 yrs, my family still objects to it, for myself, i am quite a haolian person also, so i only tell my close friends that i have a prc girlfriend, for those whom don't know me well, or not close to me i will just tell them the girl is from singapore, as you all bros know, people will look at you quite differently if they knew that your gf is from china.

the 2 years together with her, is the happiest time of my life till now, we visited many places i even went back to china with her to show face to her parents..

things eventually worsen, and we break off. now i misses her so much. its all because of my parents objection, and myself, i just cant bring myself to tell my friends that i am seeing a prc girlfriend.

sometimes i tell myself things might be better for me this way, since i cant take the fact shes a prc, but deep down my heart i know i want this girl.

The saddest love is to love someone, to know that they still want you, but the circumstances don’t let you have them.

piece of advice to bro out there: choose your life partner carefully.. dont end up to be someone like me hurt and helpless. cant forget her

[asdfghjkl]

choose a partner based on nationality?

[Niceman]

All I can say is YOU ARE WEAK !!!! and a mummy boy....

Got a bro who married a ex-ktv ger...and he "disappeared" in Sillyland and got a job in her hometown with his own saving to rent apartment and started working not even a contract to protect his ass. His mother ever said wanted to cut all tie with him. Now, they got a son and 3 apartments after 5 years of marriage. The best part is, his mum bought her a Rolex

[Niceman]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

choose a partner based on nationality?

Nope. I think he meant, choose a partner whom his mother prefer

[Breton]

Originally Posted by Niceman

All I can say is YOU ARE WEAK !!!! and a mummy boy....

Sad to say but Bro Niceman is right. And just so you are clear about it, deep down, you do not really want her. Cause if you did, you would not have backed off just because of parents objections. You can't even tell your friends that you have a prc gf ??? What's the deal with that ???

And here you are dispensing "advise".......

[thomas88]

My neighbour is a Pilot with SIA and last year he married a Air-stewardess who's from China. His wife is very pretty and friendly too.

There's no Nationality or Race when it comes to true Love. I can only say that your love for her is not deep enough though it only made you regret it after you've broken off with her.

[VanGogh]

Originally Posted by xeann

things eventually worsen, and we break off. now i misses her so much. its all because of my parents objection, and myself, i just cant bring myself to tell my friends that i am seeing a prc girlfriend.

I don't understand ...

why is it that you can't bring yourself to tell your friends that your GF is PRC ??

I believe it's mental, but... ... what's your mental barrier then ??

[cmelater]

It happens. My first gf was really sweet. I loved her a lot. But, also broke up under parental pressure..... cos' she smoked.

[Niceman]

Originally Posted by thomas88

My neighbour is a Pilot with SIA and last year he married a Air-stewardess who's from China. His wife is very pretty and friendly too.

Side-track abit.... one thing about stewardess in china is very interesting. They HAVE and a MUST to sleep with pilot in order to fly longer distance flight. And they are toys for them to "distress"

[gobal100]

you got to stand up against your family but i think only your mom. but you got ask your dad? unless you need your mom's $$$ if not just go with your hearts. you scarced no money or house to stay meh. as long you work got job scarced what.

[audi-tt]

Bro TS, from yr story i find that from the start u r already wrong. Y heart does not go with yr brain. u can only blame yr weakness and its nothing to do with PRC or whereever they came from.
Look at all the top student in sin now are mostly prc or rather PR.
in next generation our kids will be working for these ppl already.

[ah_heng81]

Maybe can try to make it know to your parents, its either they accept your GF and if the both of u marry they earn a daughter or losing a son. Thats if you really think you love her and she really loves you and you are very sure that you want to be with her for the rest of your life

[naturegreen]

TS, basically I think the whole problem lies with you right from beginning. Pardon me.
But KNN la. Why be with PRC girl 丢脸? First of all, you are already stereotyping or even worse despising PRCs. But don't forget to 饮水思原. Did your forefathers come from India/Africa/America/Europe? Really don't understand how you think. Your thinking is just like those housewives/aunties .............

[Cheonging101]

Originally Posted by xeann

don't start a relationship with someone you think wont work out and get yourself hurt in the end.

That is true. But from your story, the relationship did not work for ALL THE WRONG REASONS. And you deserve all the hurt you got since you are the one who caused it. I hope it hurts like Hell multiplied by a billion fold.

Originally Posted by xeann

piece of advice to bro out there: choose your life partner carefully.. dont end up to be someone like me hurt and helpless. cant forget her

Firstly, you are in no position to dish out any kind of advice to any bros here because you certainly do not qualify.

I hope you get another GF later (whom you won't get to screw) who is alot better than the previous one in every aspect and then dump you, after you gave her whatever is left of yourself to her, just because you're a Sillyporean. See how that feels.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Bro xeann, it seems that you weren’t prepared for this relationship at all. I understand that everyone of us like living up to other’s expectations (especially when in a relationship). However expectations can create pressure and conflict between other's and our own expectations.

IMHO, it’s an inner game creating an outer game. A person who knows he do not need other’s approval will give out the message that he is confident, happy with who he is, what he can do and knows what he is doing that is right for his happiness. He must rise above the need to be constantly seek to be approved by others or to live in other's shadows, especially in a relationship. Instead he should work to build acceptance, and by working towards acceptance (but do not fear and worry for approval), he will then be able to live up to, and meet other’s expectations.

Remember: Love knows no borders, regardless of the nationality... It’s your life and happiness, take charge of it…..Cheers.